A couple of things rolling around the old noodle recently:
-Well, I was able to watch the fight this weekend. The planets aligned for me. Sort of.
The fight itself, and the undercard, not so good. The highlight of the undercard was Paulie Malignaggi coming in with a weave in his hair, making him look like a cross between Gary Oldman’s pimp character in True Romance and the Play-dough fun factory hair. The hilarity
began about two minutes in when his ponytail came out and he couldn’t see anymore. So between rounds they had to use the scissors they cut the glove tape off with to give him a haircut. So for the rest of the fight he looked like a goof.
The main event did have any hair drama but it did have a very shady ref. At one point, the hometown kid was pretty much out on his feet and the ref stopped the fight so he could tie his shoe. I crap you negative. Boxing has given us some great phrases. “Had his bell rung.” “He’s on dream street.” “Saved by the bell.” But perhaps the best and most common for me to say is “The fix is in.” This was a case of that. Oh yeah, and “Had his dick knocked stiff.” That one cracks me up.
-People like to say, “Oh criminals WANT to get caught.” I’ve never believed that. I think it’s because I’ve always thought most people hate the idea of being forcibly sodomized. Well, that’s what I think of when I think of going to prison. Not the boredom. Not the hard labor. It’s the sodomy. The forcible, forcible sodomy. I DO think criminals (or at least criminal masterminds) want to have all their hard work recognized and get their kudos, but not forcibly sodomized. I’m not saying there aren’t criminals or normal people who are into sodomy, I just think it’s the forcible part, or using chicken grease as lube.
Anyway, I digress. I totally almost got busted goofing off at work in the most horrible way. I’ve been working on a spreadsheet for sometime now, filling it in as I can. Well, reviewing my work the other day (mostly by accident), I noticed the phrase “Hey Dave, you remember a couple of months ago when your god did something awesome or something, etc.” Ring a bell? Well, it should. It was a copy of text from my comic strip that had somehow found its way into my spreadsheet. Not sure how it happened but there it was, on my long ass spreadsheet, plain as day. I can’t tell you what I would have done to explain this little snafu had I actually turned in the spreadsheet. It actually frightens me to think about it. So needless to say, I did NOT wish to get caught but my own cockiness almost got me cold busted. Sure I wouldn’t have gone to prison, but trying to explain to the wife how I got fired because I accidently pasted a line form my comic strip into my work would be a little difficult.
-Holy crap, I’m so into this story.
-Well, I was able to watch the fight this weekend. The planets aligned for me. Sort of.
The fight itself, and the undercard, not so good. The highlight of the undercard was Paulie Malignaggi coming in with a weave in his hair, making him look like a cross between Gary Oldman’s pimp character in True Romance and the Play-dough fun factory hair. The hilarity
began about two minutes in when his ponytail came out and he couldn’t see anymore. So between rounds they had to use the scissors they cut the glove tape off with to give him a haircut. So for the rest of the fight he looked like a goof.The main event did have any hair drama but it did have a very shady ref. At one point, the hometown kid was pretty much out on his feet and the ref stopped the fight so he could tie his shoe. I crap you negative. Boxing has given us some great phrases. “Had his bell rung.” “He’s on dream street.” “Saved by the bell.” But perhaps the best and most common for me to say is “The fix is in.” This was a case of that. Oh yeah, and “Had his dick knocked stiff.” That one cracks me up.
-People like to say, “Oh criminals WANT to get caught.” I’ve never believed that. I think it’s because I’ve always thought most people hate the idea of being forcibly sodomized. Well, that’s what I think of when I think of going to prison. Not the boredom. Not the hard labor. It’s the sodomy. The forcible, forcible sodomy. I DO think criminals (or at least criminal masterminds) want to have all their hard work recognized and get their kudos, but not forcibly sodomized. I’m not saying there aren’t criminals or normal people who are into sodomy, I just think it’s the forcible part, or using chicken grease as lube.
Anyway, I digress. I totally almost got busted goofing off at work in the most horrible way. I’ve been working on a spreadsheet for sometime now, filling it in as I can. Well, reviewing my work the other day (mostly by accident), I noticed the phrase “Hey Dave, you remember a couple of months ago when your god did something awesome or something, etc.” Ring a bell? Well, it should. It was a copy of text from my comic strip that had somehow found its way into my spreadsheet. Not sure how it happened but there it was, on my long ass spreadsheet, plain as day. I can’t tell you what I would have done to explain this little snafu had I actually turned in the spreadsheet. It actually frightens me to think about it. So needless to say, I did NOT wish to get caught but my own cockiness almost got me cold busted. Sure I wouldn’t have gone to prison, but trying to explain to the wife how I got fired because I accidently pasted a line form my comic strip into my work would be a little difficult.
-Holy crap, I’m so into this story.
Anyone know who MF Doom is? He’s a rapper. He wears a mask. He used to be in a group called KMD (you may have heard his verse on the 3rd Bass song ‘Gas face’ back in the day). Anywho, his rapper personae is based on the comic book character villain Dr Doom. His ‘origin’ is based largely on the villain’s origin. Well, he’s taken the similarity
to a new high as he has started sending imposters of himself around the country to play shows (wearing the mask, of course). They apparently badly lip-sync his songs then steal the venue’s money and leave.
He played at MJQ not too long ago and did the same thing. The audience was pissed and so was the promoter when the MF Doom-bot badly lip-synced and then ran with the $$$$. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condoning thievery (see above, SODOMY, ‘nuff said) but I think this is hilarious and brilliant. I would have been pissed to pay $30 to watch this all go down, but man, that’s just good drama. So MF Doom, if you’re chilling at you castle in Latveria, kudos to you on a clever job well done. Maybe I should dress up as MF Fantastic and challenge him to a battle.
to a new high as he has started sending imposters of himself around the country to play shows (wearing the mask, of course). They apparently badly lip-sync his songs then steal the venue’s money and leave.He played at MJQ not too long ago and did the same thing. The audience was pissed and so was the promoter when the MF Doom-bot badly lip-synced and then ran with the $$$$. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condoning thievery (see above, SODOMY, ‘nuff said) but I think this is hilarious and brilliant. I would have been pissed to pay $30 to watch this all go down, but man, that’s just good drama. So MF Doom, if you’re chilling at you castle in Latveria, kudos to you on a clever job well done. Maybe I should dress up as MF Fantastic and challenge him to a battle.
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