Welp, auditioned for A Man for all Seasons yesterday. It went fine. It's always hard for me to figure out how I did. Of course, everyone I've spoken to who auditioned said they felt really good about their audition. That's a testament to the director that he can create that kind of environment. Most actors I know feel like their auditions don't go very well or that they could have done better. But apparently everyone was pretty satisfied with how they did.
It's a cool show, if you've never read it. Here's a clip from the film. What I think is great about this clip is that it tells you everything you have to know in the shortest amount of time. Like you could drop in on any moment of this play (or film) and have a pretty good idea of what's going on and the dynamic. Good writing executed perfectly. I love More's brief breakdown near the end.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Boxing this weekend
If you don’t know me, you should know this: I love boxing. In fact, many of my philosophies on life are related back to it. Yep, I’m one of those who watches two guys punching each other mercilessly and sees a metaphor for life. In life, I view myself as a counter-puncher. A counter-puncher waits for people to punch and then takes that chance to create an opportunity to punch back, looking for openings. I wait for opportunities and then try to make the most of them. It’s my little way of being ‘safe’. Some people lead with their face and charge in, sometimes get knocked out and sometimes getting knock outs and it’s always fun to watch because they’re swinging for the fences. That’s not me. I swing for the fences when I get opportunities but often don’t look to create my own.
Anyway, enough about me. Let’s talk about this weekend’s fight. This weekend, an undefeated middleweight KO artist named Kelly Pavlik, 26, got in there with a boxing wizard and defier of time named Bernard Hopkins, 43. That means there’s a 17 year difference between the two and in his last fight, Hopkins already looked old. He was slow and sluggish and exhausted by the end of his last fight. Everyone had said, “OK, B-Hops is getting old and it’s time for him to retire.” That’s not a bad thing. Fighters age rapidly, or at least it appears they do. This stems from getting older and there being 6 month gaps between their fights, so when you see them again and they don’t look different on the surface, their bodies have started to get tired. It’s like running into someone from high school and thinking they got old over night because you haven’t seen them in forever. So everyone expected Hopkins to cash out with this fight against the young up and comer and pass his torch. Here’s the thing (and one of the things I LOVE about boxing): that isn’t what happened. Instead, this 43 year old man boxed that kid’s ears off for 12 rounds. Pavlik couldn’t put punches together and that 43 year old man worked him fo
r 36 minutes. Hopkins used every trick at his disposal to frustrate and punish that kid.
Pavlik was (and still is) a top prospect and will earn tons more $$$. He punches hard, he’s humble, and (sadly this is the way of boxing) he’s white and white fighters seem to get the benefit of the doubt more often (see Jack Johnson in The Great White Hope). So Pavlik has a future. He’s not ruined. But make no mistake, the school bus was pulled up and Pavlik got on and Hopkins showed him ever trick in the book. I recall getting the crap being beaten out of me by my big brother (who is 5 years older than me) as a kid and eventually getting so frustrated that I couldn’t make a dent in him that I just gave up. He was just that much bigger and better than me and I’d go off and cry. Well that’s what Pavlik looked like at the end of that fight. Mentally taken apart.
To top it off, after the fight (which was staged at a ‘catch weight’ of 170 lbs, 10 lbs above Pavlik’s normal fighting weight), Hopkins pulled him to the side and gave him a huge pep talk (on camera) about how Pavlik was a great fighter and he needed to stay at 160 and rule the roost. So he was schooled in the ring and he was schooled afterwards. The whole time the 26 year old had a ‘yes, sir’ hang-dog look on his face.
So all that to say, 40 ain’t death. Beyond 40 ain’t death. We don’t have to stop fighting, we just have to fight smarter.
Anyway, enough about me. Let’s talk about this weekend’s fight. This weekend, an undefeated middleweight KO artist named Kelly Pavlik, 26, got in there with a boxing wizard and defier of time named Bernard Hopkins, 43. That means there’s a 17 year difference between the two and in his last fight, Hopkins already looked old. He was slow and sluggish and exhausted by the end of his last fight. Everyone had said, “OK, B-Hops is getting old and it’s time for him to retire.” That’s not a bad thing. Fighters age rapidly, or at least it appears they do. This stems from getting older and there being 6 month gaps between their fights, so when you see them again and they don’t look different on the surface, their bodies have started to get tired. It’s like running into someone from high school and thinking they got old over night because you haven’t seen them in forever. So everyone expected Hopkins to cash out with this fight against the young up and comer and pass his torch. Here’s the thing (and one of the things I LOVE about boxing): that isn’t what happened. Instead, this 43 year old man boxed that kid’s ears off for 12 rounds. Pavlik couldn’t put punches together and that 43 year old man worked him fo
r 36 minutes. Hopkins used every trick at his disposal to frustrate and punish that kid.Pavlik was (and still is) a top prospect and will earn tons more $$$. He punches hard, he’s humble, and (sadly this is the way of boxing) he’s white and white fighters seem to get the benefit of the doubt more often (see Jack Johnson in The Great White Hope). So Pavlik has a future. He’s not ruined. But make no mistake, the school bus was pulled up and Pavlik got on and Hopkins showed him ever trick in the book. I recall getting the crap being beaten out of me by my big brother (who is 5 years older than me) as a kid and eventually getting so frustrated that I couldn’t make a dent in him that I just gave up. He was just that much bigger and better than me and I’d go off and cry. Well that’s what Pavlik looked like at the end of that fight. Mentally taken apart.
To top it off, after the fight (which was staged at a ‘catch weight’ of 170 lbs, 10 lbs above Pavlik’s normal fighting weight), Hopkins pulled him to the side and gave him a huge pep talk (on camera) about how Pavlik was a great fighter and he needed to stay at 160 and rule the roost. So he was schooled in the ring and he was schooled afterwards. The whole time the 26 year old had a ‘yes, sir’ hang-dog look on his face.
So all that to say, 40 ain’t death. Beyond 40 ain’t death. We don’t have to stop fighting, we just have to fight smarter.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Steve Dracula and the 100th post
Dracula is open. Come see it. I hang upside down.
I discovered the other night that Dracula's first name is actually 'Steve'. But Count Dracula sounds better than Count Steve or Steve Dracula. Also, as Renfield, I'm Mike Renfield. It really takes alot of the oomf out of the story knowing our names like that. I mean, how gothic is the name Mike? That Bram Stoker. You figure he'd be more imaginative with the names.
Also, this is my 100th post, which means I'm very self absorbed and can't seem to stop talking about myself and things that interest me. Still, thanks for all the folks who visit and read and comment and all that good stuff. It makes my work day go faster.
And stay tuned for more comic strips and meaningless speculation.
EDIT- Actually this is post 84. Oops. I was counting drafts and unpublished stuff. Silly me. But Daddy loves you anyway.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
VERSUS! Kissing Drunks or Smokers
We return for another spine-tingling edition of VERSUS!
Today we match up two types of people in head to head MORTAAAALLLL COMBAAATTT. Actually, to be more specific, we match up two types of people in a particular situation, and that is:
Kissing a Smoker versus kissing Someone who’s Drunk.
Having been kissed by both types of people (both male and female) in my lifetime and having kissed people while being drunk and after having smoked, I am an expert. So here goes.
-THE SURFACE-
THE SMOKER-
There are a few types of smokers. There’s the Social Smoker. The Social Smoker only smokes in social situations, which means they are constantly bumming cigarettes off actual smokers because they constantly find themselves in social situations.
The Soc
ial Drinker. Like the Social Smoker, this person only drinks around others and also like the Smoker, they are always looking for an excuse to be around others. This person is also likely to lay a smooch on you because, you know, they’re celebrating something. I dunno, whatever the group is celebrating.
(PS Much obliged to my lovely models Eve and Will and Elizabeth for lending me their likenesses. If any of them ever try to kiss you, do me a favor and let them.)
Today we match up two types of people in head to head MORTAAAALLLL COMBAAATTT. Actually, to be more specific, we match up two types of people in a particular situation, and that is:
Kissing a Smoker versus kissing Someone who’s Drunk.
Having been kissed by both types of people (both male and female) in my lifetime and having kissed people while being drunk and after having smoked, I am an expert. So here goes.
-THE SURFACE-
THE SMOKER-
There are a few types of smokers. There’s the Social Smoker. The Social Smoker only smokes in social situations, which means they are constantly bumming cigarettes off actual smokers because they constantly find themselves in social situations.
Then there’s the Steady Smoker. The only real difference between the Steady Smoker and the Social Smoker is the Steady admits they smoke semi-regularly and buys their own cigs. Steady Smokers are your “I smoke when I drink” and “I smoke during a good conversation” and “I smoke on my smoke break” smokers.
Lastly, there’s the Human Chimney. And the Human Chimney is always smoking or thinking of a way to smoke. These guys will smoke half a cigarette walking from their car into work and smoke the rest later. They’re dedicated to finding the time to smoke.
THE DRUNK-
There are also a few types of drunks, particularly those who will try to smooch you up. There’s the Light Weight. The Light Weight is buzzed off wine coolers or a Mojito and is usually pretty lovey because they don’t drink very often. These people are looking for an excuse to work outside the box (their normal comfort zone) and if there’s a person they’re wanting to smooch up or saying something personal to, they’ll drink just enough to sneak that thought passed mental security and entrap you with their innermost thoughts.
THE DRUNK-
There are also a few types of drunks, particularly those who will try to smooch you up. There’s the Light Weight. The Light Weight is buzzed off wine coolers or a Mojito and is usually pretty lovey because they don’t drink very often. These people are looking for an excuse to work outside the box (their normal comfort zone) and if there’s a person they’re wanting to smooch up or saying something personal to, they’ll drink just enough to sneak that thought passed mental security and entrap you with their innermost thoughts.
The Soc
ial Drinker. Like the Social Smoker, this person only drinks around others and also like the Smoker, they are always looking for an excuse to be around others. This person is also likely to lay a smooch on you because, you know, they’re celebrating something. I dunno, whatever the group is celebrating.Lastly, there’s the Shit-faced drunk and this category is divided into two sub-categories. There’s the Happy Shit-Faced person and the Unhappy Shit-faced person. Happy Shit-Face loves you, has always loved you, and would like to express this opinion with a kiss on the cheek or hand and before the night is through will attempt to work their way to your mouth. Unhappy Shit-Face is upset about something (a break up, a loss of job, etc) and will also go for the smooch in a more pathetic, “My mouth aim is off but I’m trying to touch our mouths together” kind of way. This person needs some love at that moment and, should they remember their pathetic attempts to get kissed the next day, will hide from you in shame for a period.
-WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT-
Well, they aren’t really fighting. To clear up the argument though, drunks never win fights. Never. Not even against other drunks. It’s a stalemate.
-WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT-
Well, they aren’t really fighting. To clear up the argument though, drunks never win fights. Never. Not even against other drunks. It’s a stalemate.
But head to head, as far as smooching one of them, it goes like this.
TASTE-
Smokers taste like smoke. It’s that simple. I know they try to chew gum and eat Altoids but it doesn’t stop the fact that they taste like smoke. Meat eaters taste like meat. Drunks taste like sweet, sweet alcohol. If someone has a habit that you don’t do and your nose/taste buds aren’t adjusted to, you can tell it. Of the two of them, smokers taste the worst, especially if you’re engaging in some major tonsil hockey. A closed mouth smoker can keep some of the guys on the bench but when they open their mouth it’s a smoky slobber knocker. Alcohol breath isn’t the best of breath but generally it’s sweet.
EDGE: Drunks.
TECHNIQUE-
Drunks of varying degrees have lost motor skills. It’s a fact, no matter what you think. The Shit-Faced drunk is barely aware of what their hands are doing, much less their face. This can lead to having your nose licked or their tongue accidently being stuck in your nostrils. And drunks think most anything involving their face feels good. That’s why they blow bubbles with their mouth and vibrate their lips. Why? Because it feels good. It feels good if you’re drunk, but this lapse in judgment is what leads to people having their lips helicoptered by someone’s tongue. Smokers have their motor skills and they’re still in control of their sanity.
EDGE: Smoker.
KISS SIGNIFICANCE-
No smoker ever woke up and was like, ‘Oh my God, I smoked so many cigarettes last night, what did I do?’ Nobody has ever tried to make out with their best friend from smoking Marlb
oros. Nobody has had a gay experience from a Virginia Slim (although, if you’re smoking Virginia Slims, you probably are gay and no amount of cigarettes or alcohol will change that fact). However, most “I can’t believe I did that” moments have alcohol in the equation somewhere. Kissing a drunk may mean nothing or it may mean everything to the drunk person. Maybe it’s because you were available or maybe it’s because they’ve always loved you and always will. However, smokers are pretty serious folk. They KNOW their breath smells terrible and that the chance for rejection is higher, but they’ll risk it and not have any excuse afterwards. They’re jumping out of the airplane and there may be a hole in their ‘shute. A smoker kisses like they mean it.
EDGE: Smoker
Conclusion:
It’s probably better overall to kiss a smoker. Who would you rather ride home with? A smoker. They’re only killing you gradually instead of one big blaze of glory like a drunk. Who takes ‘no’ for an answer? Probably the smoker. Unless he or she is a date rapist. But that’s not cigarette’s fault. They were fucked up before they ever puffed. Kiss a smoker, hug a drunk, don’t ride home with a weird-o. Rules to live by.
THE HYBRID
Oh the smoking drunk. To be honest, smoking and drinking go hand-in-hand. A few drinks turns the Social Smoker into a Human Chimney pretty quickly. And with this Hybrid, they usually have imbibed enough to where they don’t care how their breath smells. Very rarely will you find a smoker in a social situation (bar) who hasn’t got a drink. This person is dangerous. I repeat: DANGEROUS. To themselves and others. A drunk-smoker is usually very confident in themselves and their opinions, absorbing the coolness from having a cigarette in their hand and the lack of social filters from the alcohol. If they want a smooch, they’re going for it and if it doesn’t go according to plan, they’ll probably follow it up with “What’s your problem?” if they’re an angry drunk or uncontrollable sobbing if they’re an unhappy drunk. If someone is getting dragged away from the bar, they’re probably a Hybrid.
TASTE-
Smokers taste like smoke. It’s that simple. I know they try to chew gum and eat Altoids but it doesn’t stop the fact that they taste like smoke. Meat eaters taste like meat. Drunks taste like sweet, sweet alcohol. If someone has a habit that you don’t do and your nose/taste buds aren’t adjusted to, you can tell it. Of the two of them, smokers taste the worst, especially if you’re engaging in some major tonsil hockey. A closed mouth smoker can keep some of the guys on the bench but when they open their mouth it’s a smoky slobber knocker. Alcohol breath isn’t the best of breath but generally it’s sweet.
EDGE: Drunks.
TECHNIQUE-
Drunks of varying degrees have lost motor skills. It’s a fact, no matter what you think. The Shit-Faced drunk is barely aware of what their hands are doing, much less their face. This can lead to having your nose licked or their tongue accidently being stuck in your nostrils. And drunks think most anything involving their face feels good. That’s why they blow bubbles with their mouth and vibrate their lips. Why? Because it feels good. It feels good if you’re drunk, but this lapse in judgment is what leads to people having their lips helicoptered by someone’s tongue. Smokers have their motor skills and they’re still in control of their sanity.
EDGE: Smoker.
KISS SIGNIFICANCE-
No smoker ever woke up and was like, ‘Oh my God, I smoked so many cigarettes last night, what did I do?’ Nobody has ever tried to make out with their best friend from smoking Marlb
oros. Nobody has had a gay experience from a Virginia Slim (although, if you’re smoking Virginia Slims, you probably are gay and no amount of cigarettes or alcohol will change that fact). However, most “I can’t believe I did that” moments have alcohol in the equation somewhere. Kissing a drunk may mean nothing or it may mean everything to the drunk person. Maybe it’s because you were available or maybe it’s because they’ve always loved you and always will. However, smokers are pretty serious folk. They KNOW their breath smells terrible and that the chance for rejection is higher, but they’ll risk it and not have any excuse afterwards. They’re jumping out of the airplane and there may be a hole in their ‘shute. A smoker kisses like they mean it.EDGE: Smoker
Conclusion:
It’s probably better overall to kiss a smoker. Who would you rather ride home with? A smoker. They’re only killing you gradually instead of one big blaze of glory like a drunk. Who takes ‘no’ for an answer? Probably the smoker. Unless he or she is a date rapist. But that’s not cigarette’s fault. They were fucked up before they ever puffed. Kiss a smoker, hug a drunk, don’t ride home with a weird-o. Rules to live by.
THE HYBRID
Oh the smoking drunk. To be honest, smoking and drinking go hand-in-hand. A few drinks turns the Social Smoker into a Human Chimney pretty quickly. And with this Hybrid, they usually have imbibed enough to where they don’t care how their breath smells. Very rarely will you find a smoker in a social situation (bar) who hasn’t got a drink. This person is dangerous. I repeat: DANGEROUS. To themselves and others. A drunk-smoker is usually very confident in themselves and their opinions, absorbing the coolness from having a cigarette in their hand and the lack of social filters from the alcohol. If they want a smooch, they’re going for it and if it doesn’t go according to plan, they’ll probably follow it up with “What’s your problem?” if they’re an angry drunk or uncontrollable sobbing if they’re an unhappy drunk. If someone is getting dragged away from the bar, they’re probably a Hybrid.
(PS Much obliged to my lovely models Eve and Will and Elizabeth for lending me their likenesses. If any of them ever try to kiss you, do me a favor and let them.)
Friday, October 10, 2008
Whiskey soaked mustache
Bless all the bartenders who know you by name,
Bless all your friends who forget all your shame,
Bless all the pickups and unwinding on a Saturday night,
Bless the song on the jukebox that gets you feeling just right.
And God bless my whiskey soaked mustache.
Bless gas station hot dogs and self set bowling pins,
Styrofoam coolers, and trading the weekdays for weekends.
Bless having a good woman, and cold feet under cold sheets,
Fork and spoon wind chimes, and grills cooking hot meats.
And God bless my whiskey soaked mustache.
God bless Tennessee Bourbon, Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias,
Bless 50 cent pool tables and flirtatious waitresses.
Bless when it starts to get cold and guys telling terrible jokes,
Sitting on the back porch, a good cigar and thick smoke.
And God bless my whiskey soaked mustache.
Bless all your friends who forget all your shame,
Bless all the pickups and unwinding on a Saturday night,
Bless the song on the jukebox that gets you feeling just right.
And God bless my whiskey soaked mustache.
Bless gas station hot dogs and self set bowling pins,
Styrofoam coolers, and trading the weekdays for weekends.
Bless having a good woman, and cold feet under cold sheets,
Fork and spoon wind chimes, and grills cooking hot meats.
And God bless my whiskey soaked mustache.
God bless Tennessee Bourbon, Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias,
Bless 50 cent pool tables and flirtatious waitresses.
Bless when it starts to get cold and guys telling terrible jokes,
Sitting on the back porch, a good cigar and thick smoke.
And God bless my whiskey soaked mustache.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Thursday wrap-up
-I have been going nearly nonstop for the last two weeks in a schedule that basically goes work/work/sleep, rinse and repeat. For me, when I get tired, rational thought is the first thing to go. So last night I was thinking about how I finally get to sleep in on Saturday. I have dogs and the dogs often will keep me up due to (in no particular order): They heard a noise, they have to pee, they’re thirsty, they are itchy, they are sleeping on top of a bone and think other dogs are trying to steal it. This makes the sleep portion of the work/work/sleep equation disjointed and often unsatisfying. So the thought occurred to me, “I should take a sleeping pill on Friday night, just to make sure I get some good sleep. Maybe I’ll drink some beer too, just to really knock me out.” What could go wrong, right? For about a minute this seemed like a completely rational thought. So the moral of the story is, don’t trust me to watch your kids or do anything important until I’ve had a good night’s sleep because I’m obviously not thinking sensibly. Otherwise, I may give your kid booze and sleeping pills to sleep or let them play with a live firearm to keep them busy.
-On my way home from the theatre, I’m covered in blood on a nightly basis. There’s no shower at the theatre and the soap doesn’t really do the trick. So last night, soaked in fake blood, I envisioned myself getting pulled over by the Po-po. What would I say? Children have ruined the “I was only doing a play” defense. Isn’t that what kids say? “We were kissing, sure, but we were rehearsing a scene from a play.” I next envisioned myself locked in a prison cell screaming, “I was rehearsing a play!” along with a bunch of murderers who are also screaming how they were rehearsing a play. Coincidently, there would probably be some dudes practicing the kissing scene as well. And that one ass-rape play.
-The dude who runs the theatre and I got into a big discussion about weird superheroes of the 70s. His favorite was the Son of Satan. Anyone remember him? What a hilarious premise for a comic. You know, what does the son of Satan do all day? I bet he fights demons.
So that nestled in my head, during the show last night I got distracted by the thought of a comic book called the Sons of Dracula. See, Dracula has these three sons and they all get a portion of his powers. One can turn into fog, one can turn into 90 dog/wolves, and one can turn into a bat. And they go around solving crimes to try and make up for all the horrible things their dad did. Waitaminute, a bat? One of them, his only power is he can turn into a bat??? Yes. Tell me it wouldn’t be hard to get that guy to join your superhero team.
It’s a pretty stupid idea but I have a history of coming up with stupid ideas that suddenly pop up other places. So I’m putting it out there, World. The Sons of Dracula. Someone start writing it.
-Found out the Lipton Green Tea I’m drinking has sodium benzoate in it so I’ve been walking around unable to tell a lie for the last hour. Then I realized that sodium benzoate wasn’t actually truth serum. I have a lot of apologizing to my coworkers to do.
-I gave up fast food and hamburgers for the last 8 days but then fell off the wagon last night. I immediately got an upset stomach. But that Dr Pepper was the bomb. The subsequent visit to the toilet was not the bomb.
-Interviewed with Scooby-Doo last week to be his PA. That statement is mildly coded but I think you get the point if you know me. Anyway, Scooby was much more depressed and tense than I thought he would be. And Scooby was very upfront about the job sucking, there being no opportunity for advancement, the pay being terrible, and basically being the office gopher for the rest of my life, if I was offered the job.
Then Scooby pulled off my optimistic/happy mask and revealed me to be crotchety Old Man Myers, the disgruntled office worker. And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those meddling kids (and their terrible wages and general horrible outlook).
-On my way home from the theatre, I’m covered in blood on a nightly basis. There’s no shower at the theatre and the soap doesn’t really do the trick. So last night, soaked in fake blood, I envisioned myself getting pulled over by the Po-po. What would I say? Children have ruined the “I was only doing a play” defense. Isn’t that what kids say? “We were kissing, sure, but we were rehearsing a scene from a play.” I next envisioned myself locked in a prison cell screaming, “I was rehearsing a play!” along with a bunch of murderers who are also screaming how they were rehearsing a play. Coincidently, there would probably be some dudes practicing the kissing scene as well. And that one ass-rape play.
-The dude who runs the theatre and I got into a big discussion about weird superheroes of the 70s. His favorite was the Son of Satan. Anyone remember him? What a hilarious premise for a comic. You know, what does the son of Satan do all day? I bet he fights demons.
So that nestled in my head, during the show last night I got distracted by the thought of a comic book called the Sons of Dracula. See, Dracula has these three sons and they all get a portion of his powers. One can turn into fog, one can turn into 90 dog/wolves, and one can turn into a bat. And they go around solving crimes to try and make up for all the horrible things their dad did. Waitaminute, a bat? One of them, his only power is he can turn into a bat??? Yes. Tell me it wouldn’t be hard to get that guy to join your superhero team.It’s a pretty stupid idea but I have a history of coming up with stupid ideas that suddenly pop up other places. So I’m putting it out there, World. The Sons of Dracula. Someone start writing it.
-Found out the Lipton Green Tea I’m drinking has sodium benzoate in it so I’ve been walking around unable to tell a lie for the last hour. Then I realized that sodium benzoate wasn’t actually truth serum. I have a lot of apologizing to my coworkers to do.
-I gave up fast food and hamburgers for the last 8 days but then fell off the wagon last night. I immediately got an upset stomach. But that Dr Pepper was the bomb. The subsequent visit to the toilet was not the bomb.
-Interviewed with Scooby-Doo last week to be his PA. That statement is mildly coded but I think you get the point if you know me. Anyway, Scooby was much more depressed and tense than I thought he would be. And Scooby was very upfront about the job sucking, there being no opportunity for advancement, the pay being terrible, and basically being the office gopher for the rest of my life, if I was offered the job.
Then Scooby pulled off my optimistic/happy mask and revealed me to be crotchety Old Man Myers, the disgruntled office worker. And I would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those meddling kids (and their terrible wages and general horrible outlook).
Monday, October 6, 2008
I have a man crush
I ain't ashamed. Good pal Zombie Sitcom posted a bit about this dude awhile back but after roaming around his site, I stumbled on to this gem. His name is Dave Perillo. Check it the freak out.
And then I was hooked. Check out his Watchmen stuff and Power Man and Iron Fist. Yes sir, a mad man crush.
And then I was hooked. Check out his Watchmen stuff and Power Man and Iron Fist. Yes sir, a mad man crush.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Records and the case of the curious sample
I’m a pretty big nerd about hip hop. I’m mostly from an old school mentality but there are still a few hip hop artists that I follow today. VH-1’s Top 100 Hip-Hop Songs got me thinking (since when is Vh-1 then mecca for hip-hop, anyway? What happened to Rap City and Yo MTV raps??).
The funny thing about hip hop culture is that it’s based a lot on *ahem* ‘appropriating’ from other artists. This manifests in a couple of ways. The most obvious is sampling, using another person’s music and manipulating it so that you can rap over it, and also by using whole phrases and words in your songs. Back in the day, anything Rakim said pretty much was sampled in someone else’s track at some point. Sometimes it’s fantastic the results that this yields and sometimes it’s just terrible. I won’t even go into the legalities of ‘borrowing’ other artists music.
Also, hip hop cannibalizes itself, with MCs using phrases that other MCs have used before and changing certain words to fit their purpose. The other day I listened to GZA (from Wu-Tang) do an entire song (“Highway Robbery”) using the same frame work and flow of Big Daddy Kane’s “Ain’t no Half Steppin’”. It was so obvious that I’m guessing it was considered a tribute to BDK. Here’s an example. GZA says: “How come so much rap shit sound so similar, It’s so confusing for you to remember the Originator, paint sprayer, crafts innovators.” Big Daddy Kane said: “You have MCs coming out sounding so similar, It’s quite confusing for you to remember the Originator, and boy do I hate a Purplatrator.” Similar, no? And it’s like that throughout the song. Of course, in hip hop, “Ain’t no half steppin’” is pretty famous so I’m sure Gza knew when he wrote it that others would know it. This happens often with phrases but rarely have I seen whole versus go like that.
Sometimes MCs get ‘dissed’ because they do this without giving credit and this is called ‘biting’, which is kind of funny that artists that have built themselves on using other people’s beats and music and phrases would get mad when someone ‘bites’ their material. That is considered cheap and uninventive.
Anywho, I digress. Some hip hop groups chose really weird songs to pull from, which is often disorienting and awesome to hear someone rap over an unexpected beat or chorus. I’ve created a list of some of my favorite examples of unexpected samples.
1- "Blazing Arrow” by Blackalicious. This contains, of all things, a sample from Harry Nilsson’s “Me and my arrow”. I personally love Blackalicious and Nilsson so the marriage of the two is great to me and I flipped out the first time I heard it, but what a weird choice for sampling. The song is actually from a cartoon called “the Point” which Nilsson did the music for and wrote the story back in the 70s when everything made sense when you were high. Around the same time I heard Blackalicious’ version of the song I also heard Jurassic 5 sample Nilsson on J5’s song “Future Sound”, which samples the word “Two” from Nilsson’s song “One”.
2- “Diss You” by King Tee. King Tee is very underrated in my opinion. In the 80s and 90s, he sort of fronted the happy pimp/drug dealer attitude out of California. He’d talk about guns and things but he was also very funny and lighthearted at times, often attempting to have sex with a friend’s mom or something. In the early 90s, he came out with “Diss you” using the Rolling Stones’ “Miss you” as the music and rhythm. It had the same high pitched “doo-doo-doo”s but instead of Mick Jagger singing “I sure miss you”, King Tee said, “I should diss you”. Again, a lot of people probably found this blasphemus, but it was great and fun to me. I think it’s out of print now, possibly because he got sued or something.
3- “Say no go” by De La Soul. Speaking of lawsuits, De La Soul earned one by sampling Hall and Oates’ “I can’t go for that” and apparently they couldn’t go for that (no can do) and sued De La. Still, “Say no go” is a very dense song with multiple samplings going on all through it (thank you, Prince Paul) and something great that didn’t really happen much back in the day: a hip hop song with a story. I’ve always waited for someone to rap over Maneater, but so far that kiss hasn’t been on their list.
4- "Sometimes I rhyme slow” by Nice and Smooth. The backbone of this song was Tracey Chapman’s “You’ve got a fast car”. What?? Yep. And they made that track slam. Well Smooth B did. He tells the story about a girl he dated who was addicted to drugs and he tried to help. Greg Nice tells a story about…um, I don’t know. He kind of did free association rapping before it became popular. Favorite lines of the savant-like Nice in this is “I’m sweeter and thicker than a chico-stick, here’s an ice cream cone, honey, take a lick.” Yeah, didn’t make much sense then either, you know, beyond the sexual aspect. But yeah, Smooth B talking about the girl who was ‘riding the white horse’ really makes this song memorable.
5- “Take a look at my girlfriend” by Gym Class Heroes. Well, Supertramp. I love Supertramp. I’m learning to love Gym Class Heroes. I wonder how many folks had never heard that song before these guys dusted it off and made it their hook. What’s odd is that it sounds like someone else is singing it, not “The Tramp”. I respect in hip hop band that rhymes slow, because like say a distortion pedal in rock n’ roll, rhyming fast and muddling words covers mistakes. But rhyming slowly and clearly, you can hear bad lyrics and bad flow and you just can’t take shortcuts. Props to these guys for doing all that.
Now surprisingly, not every song ever written has been rapped over. So I offer a few missed songs that might be cool.
-Ben Folds' “Brick”. Sure Folds is using the brick analogy for the sinking feeling and feeling dragged down, but imagine how gangster it would be to talk about how you’re going to hit other MCs with a “Brick” and then you’ll be “Drowning slowly”. Whoever uses this sample can also say they abort MCs like fetuses. Hells yeah. Gangster shit. Sad, sad gangster shit.
-Jim Croce “Operator”. Sure, “Bad, bad Leroy Brown” is the obvious choice but no, “Operator” is the way to go. “Smooth ('Operator, can you help me place this call')”. Or maybe the song could be about a stripper who the guy wants to call or something. I don’t know. I don’t have any answers, but “Operator” sure is a great song and someone should crap it up.
-“Blood Roses” by Tori Amos. Am I a Tori fan? No. Is this song 'gangster'? Yes. I don’t think she needs someone to rap over it, she just needs a cameo on it. Maybe Busta Rhymes or Common. Who would Janet Jackson have? Maybe Q-Tip. I dunno. But this song is gang-ster. Maybe she could have Yo-Yo or some female rapper on it. Anyway, this song has it all. Sex, gay bashing, diamonds, and chicken heads. If you don't know what a chicken head is, you need to listen to some Project Pat. (Seriously, though, you don't need to listen to Project Pat.)
The funny thing about hip hop culture is that it’s based a lot on *ahem* ‘appropriating’ from other artists. This manifests in a couple of ways. The most obvious is sampling, using another person’s music and manipulating it so that you can rap over it, and also by using whole phrases and words in your songs. Back in the day, anything Rakim said pretty much was sampled in someone else’s track at some point. Sometimes it’s fantastic the results that this yields and sometimes it’s just terrible. I won’t even go into the legalities of ‘borrowing’ other artists music.
Also, hip hop cannibalizes itself, with MCs using phrases that other MCs have used before and changing certain words to fit their purpose. The other day I listened to GZA (from Wu-Tang) do an entire song (“Highway Robbery”) using the same frame work and flow of Big Daddy Kane’s “Ain’t no Half Steppin’”. It was so obvious that I’m guessing it was considered a tribute to BDK. Here’s an example. GZA says: “How come so much rap shit sound so similar, It’s so confusing for you to remember the Originator, paint sprayer, crafts innovators.” Big Daddy Kane said: “You have MCs coming out sounding so similar, It’s quite confusing for you to remember the Originator, and boy do I hate a Purplatrator.” Similar, no? And it’s like that throughout the song. Of course, in hip hop, “Ain’t no half steppin’” is pretty famous so I’m sure Gza knew when he wrote it that others would know it. This happens often with phrases but rarely have I seen whole versus go like that.
Sometimes MCs get ‘dissed’ because they do this without giving credit and this is called ‘biting’, which is kind of funny that artists that have built themselves on using other people’s beats and music and phrases would get mad when someone ‘bites’ their material. That is considered cheap and uninventive.
Anywho, I digress. Some hip hop groups chose really weird songs to pull from, which is often disorienting and awesome to hear someone rap over an unexpected beat or chorus. I’ve created a list of some of my favorite examples of unexpected samples.
1- "Blazing Arrow” by Blackalicious. This contains, of all things, a sample from Harry Nilsson’s “Me and my arrow”. I personally love Blackalicious and Nilsson so the marriage of the two is great to me and I flipped out the first time I heard it, but what a weird choice for sampling. The song is actually from a cartoon called “the Point” which Nilsson did the music for and wrote the story back in the 70s when everything made sense when you were high. Around the same time I heard Blackalicious’ version of the song I also heard Jurassic 5 sample Nilsson on J5’s song “Future Sound”, which samples the word “Two” from Nilsson’s song “One”.
2- “Diss You” by King Tee. King Tee is very underrated in my opinion. In the 80s and 90s, he sort of fronted the happy pimp/drug dealer attitude out of California. He’d talk about guns and things but he was also very funny and lighthearted at times, often attempting to have sex with a friend’s mom or something. In the early 90s, he came out with “Diss you” using the Rolling Stones’ “Miss you” as the music and rhythm. It had the same high pitched “doo-doo-doo”s but instead of Mick Jagger singing “I sure miss you”, King Tee said, “I should diss you”. Again, a lot of people probably found this blasphemus, but it was great and fun to me. I think it’s out of print now, possibly because he got sued or something.
3- “Say no go” by De La Soul. Speaking of lawsuits, De La Soul earned one by sampling Hall and Oates’ “I can’t go for that” and apparently they couldn’t go for that (no can do) and sued De La. Still, “Say no go” is a very dense song with multiple samplings going on all through it (thank you, Prince Paul) and something great that didn’t really happen much back in the day: a hip hop song with a story. I’ve always waited for someone to rap over Maneater, but so far that kiss hasn’t been on their list.
4- "Sometimes I rhyme slow” by Nice and Smooth. The backbone of this song was Tracey Chapman’s “You’ve got a fast car”. What?? Yep. And they made that track slam. Well Smooth B did. He tells the story about a girl he dated who was addicted to drugs and he tried to help. Greg Nice tells a story about…um, I don’t know. He kind of did free association rapping before it became popular. Favorite lines of the savant-like Nice in this is “I’m sweeter and thicker than a chico-stick, here’s an ice cream cone, honey, take a lick.” Yeah, didn’t make much sense then either, you know, beyond the sexual aspect. But yeah, Smooth B talking about the girl who was ‘riding the white horse’ really makes this song memorable.
5- “Take a look at my girlfriend” by Gym Class Heroes. Well, Supertramp. I love Supertramp. I’m learning to love Gym Class Heroes. I wonder how many folks had never heard that song before these guys dusted it off and made it their hook. What’s odd is that it sounds like someone else is singing it, not “The Tramp”. I respect in hip hop band that rhymes slow, because like say a distortion pedal in rock n’ roll, rhyming fast and muddling words covers mistakes. But rhyming slowly and clearly, you can hear bad lyrics and bad flow and you just can’t take shortcuts. Props to these guys for doing all that.
Now surprisingly, not every song ever written has been rapped over. So I offer a few missed songs that might be cool.
-Ben Folds' “Brick”. Sure Folds is using the brick analogy for the sinking feeling and feeling dragged down, but imagine how gangster it would be to talk about how you’re going to hit other MCs with a “Brick” and then you’ll be “Drowning slowly”. Whoever uses this sample can also say they abort MCs like fetuses. Hells yeah. Gangster shit. Sad, sad gangster shit.
-Jim Croce “Operator”. Sure, “Bad, bad Leroy Brown” is the obvious choice but no, “Operator” is the way to go. “Smooth ('Operator, can you help me place this call')”. Or maybe the song could be about a stripper who the guy wants to call or something. I don’t know. I don’t have any answers, but “Operator” sure is a great song and someone should crap it up.
-“Blood Roses” by Tori Amos. Am I a Tori fan? No. Is this song 'gangster'? Yes. I don’t think she needs someone to rap over it, she just needs a cameo on it. Maybe Busta Rhymes or Common. Who would Janet Jackson have? Maybe Q-Tip. I dunno. But this song is gang-ster. Maybe she could have Yo-Yo or some female rapper on it. Anyway, this song has it all. Sex, gay bashing, diamonds, and chicken heads. If you don't know what a chicken head is, you need to listen to some Project Pat. (Seriously, though, you don't need to listen to Project Pat.)
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)